Sr Monica Roberts
Sr Monica worked as a Media Resources Officer, designing and producing learning materials for St Philip Howard Catholic Secondary School in Poplar where she worked. She cycled 40 miles a week to and from Greenwich, where she lived, to her school in Poplar. She was a very fit person! In the summer of 1988, she began to feel unwell- tiredness, a persistent cold, bruising and aches and pains. She was not concerned and thought a ‘good holiday would put her right’. Whilst on holiday in Scotland with four other sisters, she was diagnosed with cancer. Below are extracts from a presentation Sr Monica gave to a conference on ‘Spiritual and Ethical Issues in Cancer Care’ in October 1990. They are her own words of her long and brave fight with her illness.
“I am eternally grateful for the way the Scottish doctor broke it to me. “The blood test results would seem to indicate that you’ve got treatable leukaemia”. For me, I think my whole approach to my leukaemia was inspired by the way this doctor broke the news to me. The inclusion of that one word “treatable” can, I believe, make all the difference…Two days later I was admitted into the Royal Marsden Hospital at Sutton, Surrey.
Going into hospital was all so new and bewildering, but the nurses and doctors were very sympathetic and understanding and took the time and trouble, then and always, to explain things over and over again to me. Every person with cancer copes with their illness in their own way. Mine was to find out as much as I could about leukaemia…armed with knowledge, I felt I could fight it. From the onset I wanted to know the absolute truth…initial treatment and long term. General prognosis- a painful question to ask.
I had hoped that my initial stay in hospital might be 4-6 weeks but it turned out to be 4 months! I had a central line plumbed into me, bits of plastic sticking out of me and had a visit from the ‘wig lady’. With her help and that of some friends, I chose a style and colour of wig that as near as possible matched my own hair.
In the main entrance hall of the hospital there is a beautiful statue of a mother and child. The inscription reads: “The mother and child is a symbol of love and confidence, protection, help and happiness, set here to express our purpose to welcome, comfort, relieve and cure” How magnificently everyone at the Royal Marsden lives up to that ideal. I am so grateful that I’ve experienced so much of all the inscription says.
I have been asked if I blame God, got angry with Him, blamed myself…I certainly don't blame God- or myself. No one wants to be ill. Illness, like many other things in life, comes uninvited, we simply have to go through the experience. I believe that there is a God; that we are not left to fate or chance. And I believe that God has a plan and a purpose for my life and every life that is essentially for our good, though we may not comprehend it. Apparently the most requested record on the hospital radio is Lena Martell’s ‘One day at a time’ and the chorus of this became another prayer “One day at a time sweet Jesus, that’s all I’m asking of you”.
My initial chemotherapy passed off without too much nausea and vomiting but I did become weaker. After the first treatment, there was still evidence of cancer in my marrow and I would need a second round of chemotherapy. I was plunged into despair but knew I was in the right place.”
Sr Monica became very ill, she picked up infections and required one to one nursing. She was taken to the high dependency unit where she was ventilated and a tracheotomy became necessary. When she woke from her sedation she had no recollection of this critical time and could not speak or move. After five weeks in the High Dependency Unit, she was able to return to her ward where she had to relearn how to stand, walk and communicate.
“I finally left hospital, just before Christmas and the next few months were very hard- a long, slow climb back to a basic level of fitness, both physically and mentally. Just before Easter ‘89 I asked a close friend to help me plan my funeral Mass, which I wanted to have ready, just in case!”
In April 1989, Sr Monica had an autograft. She gradually gained her strength and moved to the convent at Westgate-On-Sea and began working part time. She visited friends and relations in Dublin and spent some time in Dutch convents in the summer. In July she did a 58-mile sponsored cycle ride for the Royal Marsden and raised £1500. In September Sr Monica relapsed and developed severe infections.
“My experience of leukaemia has made me realise how very precious each new day is. In one sense every new day since my diagnosis has been a bonus…I have learned to live one day at a time and to live each day to the full…I believe people die when they are ready for God.”
Sr Monica Roberts died on the 31st August 1991 of Leukaemia. She was 40 years of age and in her 14th year of religious life.
‘What you are is God’s gift to you, what you become is your gift to God’